Gratitude

It's 2am as I write this. Why am I awake? It's part of the schedule I've chosen to keep with my night shift position. I switch to days on my days off and end up awake for an entire night before my work night to switch back to nights. As such, often times I find myself wondering what to do to "productively" fill my time. Tonight's project was a spontaneous decision to go through my letters and cards. To paint a picture for you, I have saved every card, note, and letter I have ever received for the last 10+ years (see bottom picture).

As a kid, I did a LOT of writing to family and friends, writing to some over multiple years . Pulling them out and going through them one by one, I've realized a few things. The first being that I have an amazing family around me. Not just in those that are my blood family, but also in my church family. It brings tears to my eyes as I read the encouraging things they've written in graduation cards, birthday cards, thank you notes, and special valentine's day notes. I don't have words to describe how much they all mean to me.

I've also realized how God uses the people in our lives to guide us along our life journey. The words of wisdom those who have come before me have to offer are priceless. They've been through what I am going through. Not exactly the same way, but similar in that the lessons to be learned are often the same. Thus, they are wiser than I in many ways. I value those words of wisdom they have imparted to me, not just written but also verbally. They have shaped me more than I realized and I am so grateful for it.

I have realized that the people in my life as well as those who have passed, are invaluable. I walk through memories as I read the notes and I see how God has placed specific people in my path for a specific reason. My great-grandma, for an example, was the one who I first started writing letters too. Without her encouragement through replying, I may not have continued as long as I did nor reached out to as many people as I have. She made me realize I have a love for writing that has significantly impacted my life to date. Another example are the friends who have been for a season of life. While we may not keep in touch as often as we used too, if at all, each one of them played a specific role in those seasons of my life. Same with the family members whom I drew close too, who have since gone home. As well as my mentors who were also called home. Each one of them, being unique, impart/imparted into my life wisdom that only they could give.

Lastly, I am again reminded just how precious life really is. Many of those who I actively wrote too are now gone. The letters I have from them now are all I have left aside from the faint memories. It's made me realize that the time I am given with family and my friends, as well as the people themselves, is/are a gift. A beautiful, amazing, wonderful gift that I take for granted on a daily basis. The cold reality of my job serves as another reminder of how precious life is. The realization that at any moment life will end serves to impress upon me again, how valuable time with family and friends really is. However still, I am also reminded that this world too shall pass away one day and in it's place will be eternity with Jesus.