Rest

In a post a couple of months ago (Traction), I mentioned a lesson God taught me about climbing hills. Amusingly enough, He used my car getting stuck (repeatedly) going up a slanted driveway after a fresh snowfall. Later, I realized the parallel to many things in my life.

A couple of years ago, I was cleaning a house, more specifically a toilet when I had a thought. We don't have to worry about anything if we trust in Jesus. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). Meaning, if I believe in Jesus and trust Him to do what He says He will do, I am made perfect in love and have no need to fear. If I have no need to fear, I have no need for anxiety, and with no anxiety, there's no stress. What this has to do with cleaning toilets, I don't know. Regardless, in Jesus, there is freedom from sin and the burden of sin. Arguably, by stressing, and being filled with anxiety and fear, I am sinning against Him as I am not trusting Him to do what He says He will do. He reminded me that to be free from my burden, I must surrender to His control and His will.

I graduated high school last year in June. I did so determined to take a break and start college in the Fall. But I had doubts planted before I graduated and after a couple of months, the doubts blossomed into uncontrollable anxiety for the future. I was no longer sure about what I should do, no longer sure about what career I wanted, and no longer sure about trusting Jesus to show me in His time. As someone who loves to plan this didn't sit well. In order for me to plan properly, I want details and I mean a LOT of details. Naturally, when doubts creep in and I am no longer sure of things as I don't have details and then I can't solidify plans. And if I can't make plans, I don't know what is going on. And if I don't know what's going on, I become anxious. And when I am anxious, I become stressed. It's a snowball of madness that is mentally exhausting.

It hit me again today that I am trying to travel up a hill that on my own, I will never succeed to overcome. I have been like my car, struggling repeatedly to get up only to slide down or get stuck. And that's just where the devil wants me to be. He wants me to live in anxiety and in fear for the future. He wants me to be unable to get past the doubts, worry, and stress. By living this way, I have been missing out on daily opportunities to be a light for Jesus. I have been so caught up in the mess of anxiety, fear, and stress that I am not living in today but in tomorrow and yesterday.

This might be messy and jumbled a bit and that's because I am leaving a few things out or this would be a super long post... The gist of what I am trying to say is this: Today, I have no worry, no fear, and no stress for the future because I am resting in the truth. My God says He'll take care of me, He says He will guide me, He says He loves me and has repeatedly been faithful in doing all the above and more. Let me tell you, it is a welcome feeling of peace, one that makes my eyes water with tears of gratitude. Wherever you are at the moment, whatever is giving you anxiety, casting fear or doubt, causing you to worry and stress, know this: It's not a burden you are meant to carry. Let Jesus take it from you and rest in the comfort of His arms (Matthew 11:28).